


never again left unsaid

by hufflebee



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Talking, minor minor angst, post-2x10, spoilers for 2x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10192112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hufflebee/pseuds/hufflebee
Summary: It wasn’t until about two months after Valentine was arrested that Magnus noticed it. (...) Alec never left the loft without saying it. Magnus thought back to the weeks after they’d first said it and found that, as far as he remembered, Alec and him never parted without Alec telling Magnus he loved him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> takes place a bit after the winter finale and was brought to life when numerous people pointed out how distraught alec must have been while looking for magnus, thinking that his possibly last conversation with him was an argument.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!
> 
> tumblr: hufflebee

It wasn’t until about two months after Valentine was arrested that Magnus noticed it.

Both he and Alec had had a stressful day and somehow ended up arguing and snapping at each other over nothing when Alec got a call from Jace that he was needed at the Institute.

“Fine, go,” Magnus snapped, immediately regretting it, but his nerves and frustration still too prevalent in his mind for him to apologize.

“Fine,” Alec replied, his voice quiet and exhausted, but still harsh from their interrupted argument. He walked to the door and just as he placed his hand on the doorknob, he turned to Magnus.

“I’ll call you later. I love you.”

And then Alec left.

Magnus stood there, frozen in his place with his eyes fixed on his front door.

_I love you._

It was such a natural part of their relationship now, expressing their love for each other. They’d say it in the mornings, they’d say it while exchanging soft kisses, and they’d say it in random moments just because they could.

Still, Alec saying it as he was leaving during an argument left Magnus perplexed.

He poured himself a drink and sat on the couch. As he felt his shoulders relax and the stress leaving his body, he knew he’d overreacted, they both had. And when Alec came back, they’d apologize and talk and they would be okay.

For the first time in a long time, Magnus felt sure of this. So many of his previous relationships would leave him feeling scared after every minor argument that that one would end it. It was one of the many things that were so different about Alec. Magnus knew down to his bones that he was loved just as much as he loved Alec and he knew a silly argument like this one would be resolved before the day was over.

What ended up consuming his thoughts for the evening were Alec’s parting words. Was Alec worried Magnus doubted his love for him just because they’d taken out their frustrations on each other? Was he scared, like Magnus was so many times in the past, that this might be a deal breaking argument?

Neither of those seemed right. While Magnus knew Alec was still dealing with his insecurities every day, he saw how sure Alec was of him, of them. Magnus doubted all of that would be shaken by a stupid argument. Perhaps he just wanted to reassure Magnus that he loved him?

Come to think of it, Alec never left the loft without saying it. Magnus thought back to the weeks after they’d first said it and found that, as far as he remembered, Alec and him never parted without Alec telling Magnus he loved him. Just last week, Alec had left before Magnus woke up and there’d been a note waiting for him on Alec’s pillow.

_I love you. – Alec_

As Magnus pondered over this new discovery, he heard his front door open and close and a moment later, Alec sat down next to him on the couch.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you,” Alec said, his voice soft and exhausted, all the heat from before gone. “Things are extra stressful with my parents back from Idris, but it’s no excuse to take it out on you. I’m sorry.”

He looked up at Magnus then, his face matching his voice and his words perfectly. Magnus gave him a small smile and wrapped his arms around Alec.

“I’m sorry, too. I let all these ridiculous clients get under my skin so I snapped right back, which was just as wrong of me as it was of you. So, I’m sorry, I’ll have to work on that,” Magnus said and leaned back against the back of the couch, pulling Alec closer to his chest.

“We both will,” Alec replied and smiled at Magnus.

They sat like that for a bit, Magnus’ hand lightly stroking Alec’s back, when Magnus remembered his earlier observation.

“Can I ask you something?” Magnus whispered.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Any particular reason you never leave without saying ‘I love you’? Not that I’m in any way against it, I’m just curious.”

Alec stiffened the tiniest bit and sat up straighter, his eyes going to and from Magnus, who waited patiently. By now, he recognized when Alec needed a moment to gather his words.

“When Valentine attacked the Institute and the Soul Sword was activated, I nearly lost my mind trying to find you. And so many horrible thoughts kept going through my mind and even after everything was over, some of that fear and those thoughts still stuck. You know it took me a while to not wake up frantically reaching for you to make sure you were there.”

He knew. For the first couple of weeks, Alec had slept over at the loft every night and almost every night he’d wake up, sweaty and breathing heavily, and wrap Magnus up in his arms until he calmed down enough to fall back asleep.

“And while I still didn’t know if you were okay, I kept thinking back to how, if something had happened to you, our last conversation would have been an argument, would have been me yelling at you. Your last memory of me would have been me being an ass to you. You would never know I love you.

I know this is going to sound dark, but I’m now painfully aware of the fact that immortality doesn’t mean invincibility, that I could still lose you, or you could lose me. And whatever happens, I want to make sure you know how I feel.”

Magnus stared at Alec, his thoughts going a mile a minute. Alec never wanted their last exchange to be an argument, never wanted to leave Magnus’ side without telling him he loved him.

“So even though I don’t leave here with a crippling fear you’ll be gone when I get back anymore, it calms me to know that, no matter what, I made sure you know that I love you.”

Magnus threw his arms around Alec, holding him tightly to his chest and pressed his face to Alec’s neck.

“I love you so much,” Magnus whispered before pulling back to look at Alec.

“I love you, too.”

It became a thing after that. No matter where they were going, what was going on, no matter what, whenever they parted, their last words to each other were _I love you_. Sometimes it was said in a whisper, sometimes in a text or note, but it was never again left unsaid.


End file.
